Country Perspective’s 2014 Worst Country Song of the Year Nominees

 

As 2014 comes to a close, Country Perspective will be handing out a number of awards to the artists, songs, and albums we covered over the year. We’ll be crowning the best of the best and the worst of the worst. While there was a lot of good in country music this year, we were also subjected to a lot of bad songs in 2014. Some artists had a single or two that made us cringe, while others released albums full of terrible songs. We have an extensive list of worst song nominees, but I will highlight five I believe are the true worst of the worst.

From Lady Antebellum’s “Bartender” to Little Big Town’s “Day Drinking” our male-female groups sold out for airplay. We had bro-country galore with “Where It’s At (Yep Yep)”, “Beachin”, “Yeah” by Joe Nichols, Dylan Scott’s “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm”, Lee Brice’s “Girls in Bikinis” and two Cole Swindell number ones. Then we had guys like Chase Rice, Florida Georgia Line, and Sam Hunt release albums with nothing but terrible country songs (save for Rice’s “Jack Daniels and Jesus” and FGL’s “Dirt,” both of which were diamonds in the rough). Let’s not forget Florida Georgia Line’s collaboration with Luke Bryan in “This Is How We Roll.” Brantley Gilbert had some bad hits with “Bottoms Up” and “Small Town Throwdown,” and Blake Shelton’s new album had an ultra dud duet with RaeLynn called “Buzzin’.” Throw in Darius Rucker’s “Homegrown Honey” and Toby Keith’s “Drunk Americans” and we have a long list of bad music to consider for this award (and I haven’t even given you the bottom of the barrel yet).

Awards will be handed out in mid-late December. Josh and I will deliberate and reach the final decisions together, but we will also take reader input into consideration. So if you have a strong opinion about a song listed here, or about a song we may have forgotten, feel free to comment below and let us know. Who knows, you may sway the vote!

 

Without further ado, here are my six worst songs from 2014 (some language ahead):

  • Burnin’ It Down” by Jason Aldean – This song isn’t country by any means. It’s just an auto tuned, computerized mess of R&B and pop. Aldean doesn’t take any risk to at least give this an authentic slow-jam feel. “Burnin’ It Down” is just a lazy, monotone, cry for attention.
  • God Made Girls” by RaeLynn – The song that made the heads of feminists everywhere explode. Was this song written by a 5-year-old? As my fiancé said “we wonder why women are underrepresented in modern country music, then they come out with this shit.” What a terrible song.
  • Donkey” by Jerrod Niemann – If you haven’t listened to it yet, here’s a link to it. You’ll understand in about 45 seconds why it’s terrible. If you want to save yourself from ripping your ears off in disgust, then don’t listen to it and just trust me that it sucks.
  • Girl in Your Truck Song” by Maggie Rose – This might be an actual case of Stockholm syndrome. Bro-country has been around so long, that we might as well just sing a song about being that girl. And not to mention, this songwriting is just plain lazy. At least Maddie & Tae turned those bro-lyrics around and threw back at the guys. There’s no cleverness in this attempt by Rose.
  • Lookin’ For That Girl” by Tim McGraw – If you’ve read my reviews of some of the mainstream albums released this year, you know I can’t stand auto tune in country music. And this song is full of Tim McGraw’s awful sounding robotic voice. And with the rest of Sundown Heaven Town being actual country music, it almost makes this song even worse by comparison.
  • Sun Daze” by Florida Georgia Line – A song so pandering, so trying to include every possible demographic that it ends up being an awful, dumb, mess of a song. There’s no continuity: Tyler opens up singing about wearing flip-flops for the country and beach lovers, but then in chorus he sings about lacing his J’s for the hip hop and urban crowd. Then the awful sexual innuendos and shameless name-dropping come in to play. There’s just too much here to sufficiently summarize what makes it bad.

That’s the worst of the worst. Please share your thoughts and help us decide what to crown as the worst country song of 2014.  Any song I talked about in the article is up for consideration, and many of them have a legitimate case to be awarded this oh-so distinctive honor! If you haven’t already, check out the rest of our nominations for our awards: best male and female singers, best duo or group, best and worst albums, and best song of 2014.

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7 thoughts on “Country Perspective’s 2014 Worst Country Song of the Year Nominees

  1. VEEEERRRYYY tough to decide but ultimately my vote lies with Donkey. I loved Jerrod’s debut record “Judge Jerrod and The Hung Jury” which is why it makes me extremely sad to know that the guy who sang those songs is now chucking out bad single after bad single. When you must go as low as to include Colt Ford on your new record and record “Donkey”, it’s time to ask yourself what truly matters
    most, the money or your integrity? Ah so theres my mini
    rant, i would also say God Made Girls was a terrible song as well. The fact that she sounds like one of the chipmunks doesn’t help matters any

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  2. I think the worst song of 2014 is Bottoms Up, it mixes everything I hate in a single song: hard rock/metal-oriented production, stupid lyrics and a lame bro country subject.
    If I have to choose the worst 2014 song among these six, that’d surely be burnin it down: I happen to love R&B but this song just makes me want to throw up, aldean wants to sound sexy throughout mediocre lyrics and bad (very bad) production but, as Trigger at savingcountrymusic pointed out, only sounds creepy. The thing that sets this song apart is its success: just like dirt road anthem opened the doors to rap , burnin it down could open the doors to digitalised, auto tuned as hell and wanna-be-R&B songs!

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    • Oh you can certainly vote for Bottoms Up. I mentioned it in the paragraph so it’s game. Personally I call out those six because I feel they’re on a whole different level of bad. But really, any of the 15 or whatever songs I mention (and any song off the Chase, Sam, and FGL albums) are fair game here

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  3. Since your post specifically states “song”, and not “single”, I’d like to nominate the following:

    *

    Sam Hunt: “Ex To See”
    Dylan Scott: “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm” (this was ACTUALLY a single, too, and I only earlier today remembered this came out earlier this year and would actually come in at #2 on my Year-End Worst List)
    Lee Brice: “Girls In Bikinis”
    Cole Swindell: “Down Home Boys”
    Chase Rice: “U-Turn” and “MMM Girl” (almost all of the album deserves dishonorable mentions, really, but these two stand out as particularly awful)
    Kenny Chesney: “Rock Bottom”
    Blake Shelton: “Buzzin’ (Featuring RaeLynn)”
    Florida Georgia Line: “Good Good”

    *

    As far as singles are concerned, my choice would be “Donkey” followed by “Girl In Your Truck Song” as far as these choices are concerned, though I’d actually consider “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm” closely rivalling “Donkey” for the absolute dishonor. “Homegrown Honey” also ought to be a dishonorable nominee.

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  4. Gotta say, Girl in Your Truck Song doesn’t offend me anywhere nearly as deeply as does “God Made Girls.”

    That was one of the most upsetting songs I have ever heard.

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